Should You Ever Stop Striving for More? (and just be happy where you are...)

A great question popped up on a LinkedIn group I read and follow:

Should you ever stop striving for more and just be happy where you are?

The conversation drew responses like wildfire. Many of the respondents are young working women at the beginning or middle of careers.  A great portion of these responses the young women indicate with enthusiasm they have no intention of losing their stride, ever looking for something more. Many say they are always looking for a way to improve their lot, move up and better their position.

There are some --both the young and some older women-- who answered from a little different angle; they feel happy where they are, but only because they continue to learn something on a regular basis. They have otherwise reached a career impasse.

A very few answered from the other side of the spectrum. They do not necessarily link their happy state with their ability to be upwardly mobile. Indeed, in this economy, some need to find their happiness in a static place, "bloom where you're planted," so to speak.

Finding happiness ("more?") only in an upward motion could be an effort in futility (bang head here) depending on where you live, what field you are in, and your age, among other factors.

As a woman getting up there past middle age, I am becoming aware I will likely not fulfill the dream I once had using the skill set I acquired through my education. But it doesn't stop me from trying new things---like this blog--- or pursuing other outlets which bring me happiness. I'm discovering my job does not define me at this point in my life. I've been there and done that. But what does define me is how I express myself, and what I do with my life outside of my job. Those things bring me happiness now. "More" might be learning a new skill or passing on a skill to someone else. "More" might mean branching out and doing something out of my comfort zone.

So....I guess in one sense, I can say that although I feel I've settled in my job, I have not stopped striving for happiness, if that's what "more" means.

Man, it's been a While! How do you celebrate?

Wow, I need to get my blog groove back on! Kenlie, over at All the Weigh (Friend Makin' Monday), has inspired me to get my writing act back together. Here is a short post just to get my blood coursing again:

How Do You Celebrate?

1. When is your birthday?  October 9

2.  Do you like to celebrate it or do you prefer to keep it quiet?  I love my birthday. I usually try to take the day off and do something special, sometimes alone, sometimes with someone special. As it is usually gorgeous Indian Summer, I typically visit a nice garden or outdoor place where I can just enjoy being a year older and wiser. [cough]

3. Have you ever had a surprise party?  No! And I do not want one----ever.

4. What sign are you?  Does it represent you well?  I am a Libra poster child. Indecisive, flaky, artsy-fartsy in theory, but not in the actual follow-through.

5.  Do you tell the truth about your age?  Yep, if you have the nerve to ask me, I'll tell ya.

6.  Share your best birthday memory.  At my age, I'm lucky if I remember last year's. It was very nice---my wonderful SO (hate that....I'm going to start using "novio") and I traveled to a resort town with a Bavarian theme. We drank beer, ate sausage and enjoyed the scenery from a hot tub.

7.  Share a few items that could be on your birthday wishlist.  A deep tissue massage, a day to myself to do nothing (I guess I could give myself permission to do that anytime), a gift certificate to an art class.

8.  What is your favorite kind of cake?  Any cake without the word "cheese" in it.  I know, I know. But it's the ONE confection I do not like. Gimme a break. I love chocolate cake with vanilla frosting.

9.  If you could be anywhere on your next birthday, where would you be?  Hey, I'd take an all-expense paid trip to any Mediterranean island---I'm not picky.

10.  Do you make a wish when you blow out the candles?  Until it's proven folly, I always will.

So...how do YOU celebrate? Does it just happen upon you, or do you plan it? Answer the questions above, then come back and post here!

Lisa Jo Rudy on Authentic Inclusion: Yes, Legos Count as Tools for Authentic Inclusion

Lisa Jo Rudy on Authentic Inclusion: Yes, Legos Count as Tools for Authentic Inclusion: Tom's winning Lego cafe If you think your child's amazing ability to work with Legos doesn't count as a tool for inclusion, think again. ...

"Granny, I want to talk about something."

I've come to discover this is what Hunter says when he wants to tell me about something that happened or he learned about at school.

We were sitting in the McDonald's parking lot last night before our library excursion when he said this. "Oh, what is it, Hunter?"

Then he began a diatribe about caterpillars. They're very hungry and thirsty. The females (I'd never heard this word uttered from his lips) lay eggs. Then they have babies and then they make a cocoon and take a long nap. They're sleepy. When they wake up they come out and they're a Monarch.

"Oh, really? What color are they?"

"They're yellow with black stripes. Then they lay eggs again. Only the mamas, not the daddies."

"So, do you have caterpillars in your classroom now, Hunter?"

Silence....he's still mulling over what he just told me. I think.

"Are they in a cage?"

"No! A jar." (silly me)

"Well that'll be exciting to watch them, won't it? You'll have to be very patient, huh?"

Silence....I think we're done with this discussion. He moves on to the toy he wants which is no longer manufactured.

He's only been in school since Aug. 30, but I'm so pleased he seems to be doing more challenging things, homework for example. He's never had any. He is volunteering information about what's going on in class where, before, you had to extract it like a stubborn tooth. This little conversation felt like a gift.

So, shout out to Hunter's teacher and any other special ed. teachers out there. You have my utmost appreciation. Thank you --- your job has shattering implications. It has profound effects on the life of your students' families, whether you realize it or not.

This post was a link to Rhonda's Down-to-Earth blog:

DOWN TO EARTH: On my mind ...

Too late for me, but Lisa, it's your time!

Forgive me, Lisa Spangler, if I wax wistfully today. You’ve been on my mind the last few days after I read about your role as a starting linebacker on a local high school football team.

Why wistful, you ask? Well, Lisa, it’s like this. I am getting old. And getting old doesn’t always mean content. You get to an age where you look back and say, “Ya know, if this or that happened, things may have just turned out a bit differently.”

I could list at least a dozen events in my life where, due to fear or lack of self-confidence, I did not realize an aspiration. But that would be too depressing right now, girlfriend. Let’s focus on the one at hand.

Let’s turn the Wayback Machine to 1970. Yes, the old days. Before Title IX.

I had a number of years of Little League softball under my belt and eagerly looked forward to playing for my high school team under our new girls’ coach. Miss Hawkey brought a new confidence to girls interested in athletics, i.e., tomboys. Gregarious, vivacious and extremely athletic, Miss Hawkey introduced us to off-the-regular-menu PE items like archery, field hockey and trampoline. We thrived under her encouragement with a new feeling of self-confidence. We all hoped our collective enthusiasm would mean more promotion of school sports for girls.

But, all the self-confidence in the world would not change school norms. Crushed, I learned the school would not fund a girl’s softball team.

The National Organization for Women was making noise in those days about the lack of equal opportunity for women in many areas of academia, not the least of those, sports. I heard enough of this through the news on TV to give me the courage one day to approach the high school boy’s baseball coach in the hall at school. Would he give me a chance to even try out for the team?

He knew me from my hanging around during their practices. Though I didn’t say anything, I knew from watching I could hold my own with most of those guys. All I wanted was a chance. Would he, like your coach, Lisa, give me a fair shake, come to see me as just another undersized ballplayer? I asked, and he looked at me askance.

“I need some big, strong BOYS.”

Crestfallen, but not discouraged, I asked again a few days later at practice. Same answer.

So, Lisa, there ya go. I’m not going to say, “You don’t know how lucky you are,” because that would make me sound bitter. And I don’t feel bitter. I think it’s awesome you get to play the game you love so much. I have tried to imagine what it must feel like to be you, just putting yourself out there on the field, getting it done and taking names. I imagine it feels fantastic.

I’m happy things have changed to where we can watch women’s sports on ESPN. Now it’s commonplace to read the coverage of local girls breaking records and leading their teams to victories at all levels.

But heck, in 1971 I couldn’t even convince then-Columbian sports editor Ralph Fisher to cover girl’s volleyball even after it had become a sanctioned intramural sport, with district-wide competition. He said no one would be interested.

So surely you can see, Lisa, why I feel wistful when I reflect upon your story. The barriers have been breached. Just a couple years too late.